Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It’s almost time for vacation

Next week Mr. TEK and I have a vacation week! Over the weekend we will be doing some camping, then we’ll have the rest of the week to relax and recharge. I need this. I need this so bad I can taste it.

Today, Wednesday, September 14 is the one year anniversary of my Papa’s death. It is going to be a very difficult day for me and my family. My Papa was an amazing man; he was a major influence on how I live my life now, as an adult. Sometime around 2000 he was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. He had half of one lung removed and radiation therapy to put him into remission. We were lucky in that the cancer never returned, but we were left with a host of other issues. In addition to the cancer, he had emphysema and COPD and finally he was unable to breathe enough to sustain his body. Yes, it’s sad, but I’d rather think about the good things. Like sitting on his back porch watching a storm roll in. Gardening and learning how to maintain a yard. I remember reading his books about birds, and watching the Red Wings on TV. There were fishing trips, swapping recipes, and knowing that if I ever had a question about anything he would probably know the answer. My grandpa is very much a missed part of my life. Thanks to him I live my life without regret.

What does it mean to live without regret? It means making the best decision that you can with the information that you have and knowing that no matter what happens you did your best. It means taking the time to visit with those most important to you. It means having integrity in your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. It means holding yourself and other to a realistically high standard. Living without regret is not easy. There are days when anxiety would take the very heart of me and I have to embrace it, plan through it, and work harder. I have to remind myself that being happy is not easy; it’s a garden that must be tended. Right now, my garden needs to be weeded and the sad flowers need cut back, and that is how I plan to spend my week off.

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